Girl: I'm jealous. WHEN others girls r looking at
Boy: Don't be jealous, baby
Girl: Why?
Boy:'Cause you have something that they
Girl: What?
Boy: My heart ♥:)
Statistically 1 in 20 of us live next door to a pedophile. Not me though, i live next door to a stunning pair of seven year olds."
Irishness is...
That mini heartattack you get if you go out and forget to turn off the immersion
You're not drinking?Are you on antibiotics?
Wallpaper on your school books
Being Grand!
Boil everything in a huge pot for 3 hours
Paschal Sheehey RTE news
Being absolutely terrified of a wooden spoon
Learning a language for 12 years and not being fluent
Going mental at concerts because famous people rarely come over
Flat 7UP heals all illnesses
Calling Joe Duffy instead of the Guards
A guy broke into my appartment last week.. He didn't take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.. Sick bastard..
Girl: Heyy:)
GIRL: I like you:)
BOY: wow.
GIRL: What?? you don't like me????
BOY: no
GIRL: wow you are so nice :'(
BOY: why are you crying??
GIRL: You don't like me :'(
BOY: well you never asked if i love you:)
GIRL: well do you?!
BOY: Lol no.
A boy gave his girlfriend a challenge; to live a day without him & if she did it he would love her more. The girl agreed and she didnt talk to him for a day without knowing he had only 24 hours so live because he was suffering from cancer. She went to his house the next day tears falling from her eyes as she saw him lying in a coffin with a note on the side:'You did it baby,you can do it everyday
Charlie Sheen, is all over the news this week because he's a celebrity drug addict. Justin Bieber was all over the news for 2 days this week because he cut his hair. While Andrew Wilfahrt 31, Brian Tabada 21, Rudolph Hizon 22, Chauncy Mays 25, Christopher Stark 22, Kristopher Gould 25, David Fahey 23 are all soldiers who gave their lives this week with no media mention. Honor them by liking this... show them you care
...condom says to the tampon, "You put me out of a job for 1 week a month!" The tampon replies, "When you don't do your job properly, I lose mine for 9 months!"
Spending Valentines day, naked, on the floor with a bottle of Jack Daniels in your hand, screaming Adele songs to your cats.
If a Police Officer says "Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence..."
Your answer should always be "Please don't hit me again officer..."
The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said
I wanna watch.

Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
*I walk into the classroom with a jacket on*
teacher: take that jacket off NOW!! they are against school rules
me: OMG, I am so sorry! Is anyone hurt? no? ok....I'll just slowly remove this extremely hazardous of my torso....and slowly freeze to death.....
me:but miss, why are you wearing a jacket?
teacher: because it's cold an-
*class gets down and screams in fear*
(like this if your school also has retarded rules made by hitler)
Lost your pen=no pen
No pen=no notes
Nonotes=no study
No study=Fail
Fail=no diploma
No diploma=no work
no work=no money
no money=no food
no food=you get skinny
you get skinny=then you get ugly
Ugly=no love
no love=no marriage
no marriage=no children
no children= alone

Lesson: Don’t lose your pen, you will die.. :P
a boy who will hold his girlfriend around the waist and kiss her neck and whisper in her ear ''you're beautifull''. if his freinds say something nasty about her he will flip. text her first. tell her every night he loves her. texts her good morning beautiful. makes the effort. not flirt with other girls. compliment everything about her. if she wants a hug, hush up and hold her like she is gold.
Fun idea: Don't have kids? Hire a babysitter anyway, say kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. When you get home later that evening, go mental and ask where the child has gone.
The embarrassment when you walk out of the house and have to go back in to change, because you realise that you're just too sexy for your shirt :/
A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper.
Teacher: What is this?
Kid: It's a drawing of a cow eating grass.
Teacher: (looked at the paper) Where's the grass?
Kid: The cow ate all of it.
...Teacher: (looked at the paper again)Then, where's the cow?
Kid: It left because there was no more grass.
A police officer stops a man on the highway. The man says “Did you stop me for speeding?” The officer replies “Yes, I stopped you for speeding” The man replies “Well I have a gun in my glove compartment, and have a dead body in my trunk” The officer pulls back and calls for back up and waits. Minute’s later back up arrives. The second officer says “My partner says you had a dead body in the trunk and a gun is the glove compartment." So the cop checks the glove compartment, no gun. He checks the trunk, no body. Officer 2 asks, "Do you have a gun?" The man says, "No, sir." "Did you steal this car?" "Nope." At last policeman 2 says, "My partner said you had a dead body and a gun." The guy replies, "I bet he said I was speeding too!!!"
I recently lost my best friend to cancer. It was horrible. She fought so hard, she was only 17. How unfair is it? Why are the good people in life always taken away from us, especially how she was so young? I want to make a website about her, to donate money to cancer charities, and help raise money for hospitals who are looking after cancer patients. I need to reach at least 100K likes in order to make the website. Please like this, if you yourself, want cancer to be treated, and gone forever.
Dear Year 7's, 8's, 9's, 10's, 11's and Sixth Formers.
You don't run the school, we do.
So shut the fuck up.
Yours Sincerely, Your Teachers.
^ You don't run the school, I do.
Fucking Idiots.
Sincerely The Head Teacher.
^ You my friend are a retard if you think you do fuck all in your school
Sincerely The Education Board.
^ You're all lucky you've got a school
Sincerely David Cameron.
Avada Kedavra
Yours Sincerely, Lord Voldemort.
Got your nose
Yours, Harry Potter.
''Body of Christ''.. ''Ah thanks father, I've been working out''
i'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
If 8000 people like this before febuary the 16th, i will stick my dick in my maths teachers coffee.
RIP Michaela Harte <3
You know you're Irish when all your phone calls end in "Right bye bye bye bye bye".
the sad point in life when you realise you will never get a pet penguin:(
€40 a year water charges?.......... We may all ring Trocaire cause they can supply a whole village for €2 a month!
if 250,000 people like this before valentines day, i will smash up my xBox 360, snap my black ops disc and take my girlfriend out to dinner and propose to her.
Dear year 7's; We don't play tag at highschool...
Dear year 8's; Shut up your 12 you do not 'love' your boyfriend.
Dear year 9's; I'm sure that this was a school, not a brothel.
Yours sincerly, Year 10+11 <3
^*Dear year 10's; Cunts.
Yours sincerly, Year 11
^^^ Dear Year 11's: You're all a bunch of twats too.
Yours sincerely, 6th Formers
^^^^ You are all pathetic.
Yours sincerely, Optimus Prime.
Justin Bieber is a girl? His voice has now broken.
Justin Bieber is gay? He is with Selena Gomez.
Justin Bieber is a crap singer? Justin Timberlake and Usher fought over him, and all the big names want to collab with him.
Justin Bieber sucks? He has his own movie.
Stop being jealous trolls and learn to appreciate that some people are a lot more talented than you, he just followed his dream. How would you like it if you got hated on for no reason?
Like this page if you respect Justin Bieber.
Boy: Did it hurt?
Girl: Did what hurt?
Boy: When you fell from -
Girl: Heaven? Awwww :')
Boy: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down.
Girl: ....
100 Friends - Thats ok.
200 Friends - Eh, Your getting there.
300 Friends - Good ammount.
400 Friends - Sorta popular.
500 Friends - Your well known.
600 Friends - Your a slut.
700 Friends - Big slut.
800 Friends - You dont even know half of them.
900 Friends - Nerd.
1000 Friends - Facebook is your life.
*Goes onto blocked list*.
Hm, why is she blocked?
*Unblocks her and goes onto chat*.
That's why she was blocked.
"Dude she just called you italian"
"Oh hell no, hold my ipod!"
"what does that have to do with being italian?"
"Absolutely nothing, why?"
"Nothing... I just thought since you were italian, you'd be holding a pizza or something..."
If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pancakes can fit on the roof? Purple. Because aliens dont wear hats
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